Could you be your own matchmaker?

October 24, 2013

The state of a person’s love life is very telling. Looking in the love life mirror, sometimes we do not like what we see. Maybe we see that the mirror is completely empty. All we see is ourselves. We cannot even complain about a partner, because a partner is not there. In the love life mirror, all we see is ourselves.

Now, given that we’ve said that we want to manifest a satisfying love life and given that we have manifested the opposite of that, we could choose to judge ourselves. We may even blame other people! But there is another option. It is the choice of whether or not we could stand to be our own matchmaker. Just think about it for a moment: if you were a friend of yours, would you want to be set you up with you?

If you were to come up with an introduction about yourself to describe you to someone else, what would it be? And let’s be really honest here. This is not some “smoke and mirrors” online dating site. This is you being completely honest with you. This is you being open and honest. This is you being transparent. This is you totally coming clean. How would you truly and honestly describe yourself from somebody else’s point-of-view? What are the first three words that come to mind?

Now, look at the energy behind these three words. Are they truthful? Harsh?  If you were to describe every bit of your life to someone else, would you want to date you?

The purpose of this exercise is not make anyone feel bad or bring shame. If those emotions are what is coming up for you, it is best to acknowledge them. Remember the practice of mirroring. Any reaction or emotional response we have to anything is more about us than about the situation or person that triggered us. Our emotional responses shed light on how we view ourselves.

file1581252479298-1For the purpose of the love life mirror, any emotion or thought that we notice or feel gives us vast insight into how we see ourselves. If you are becoming angry or feeling bad about yourself, these are emotions and feelings that you are infusing into your love life. You might even feel numb or like you know all of this or this is complete BS. Again, all of these are indicative into the energy (thoughts, feelings, and emotions) that you are using to make choices and decisions that pertain to your love life.

How is that working out for you?  If you are totally happy with the quality of your love life, then congratulations. If you are unhappy with it or if you think it could be better, it is time for you to look deep within that  love life mirror. You may not like what you see. All of this is great information for the quality of thoughts, feelings, and emotions that you are breathing into your relationships and love life.

See, according to Universal Law, we always get what we give. If someone is putting emotions with the energies of shame and anger into his/her love life, this person will make choices aligned to the energies of shame and anger in all areas regarding his/her love life. Since “we get what we give,” that person gets to manifest a love life that is filled with anger and shame. Sounds fun, right?  And guess what else? This cycle will not stop until you are ready to make a real change. And this goes for all areas of your life—not just your love life!!! But let’s look at a real life example of this…

Let’s say there is a person who claims that what she wants more than anything is to have an intimate and loving relationship where she and the other person get to be authentic and vulnerable with each other. This person has done a great deal of work regarding her intentions for wanting to manifest her ideal partner, but she has been unsuccessful in the long-term. Instead of manifesting intimacy and vulnerability—all of the things she claims to want— she manifests the opposite where the potential partners she attracts into her life pull away and retreat.

Of course, this is highly frustrating to this person! But what continues to happen every time she gets an opportunity to make a huge change in how she is conducting her love life? Instead of being open, loving, and authentic with the potential partner, she chooses the opposite by shutting down to anything that seems new or foreign in a relationship.  She ends up blaming it on the other person’s lack of transformation and cultivation, and guess what? She pulls away and the cycle continues.

The whole moral of this story is that you might notice that you are not manifesting what you want and you might have really good excuses for why it has not happened yet. The Universe has continued to give you plenty of opportunities for you to make a new choice, but you continue to revert back to your old patterns!

What is really interesting is that you may even notice this! You may notice and not know what to do because you are so caught up in thinking and in what you are doing. So you continue to try again and you always are met with the same results.  If this sounds familiar and/or frustrates you, I encourage you to take a good long look in the love life mirror.

As you look into this mirror, ask yourself: would I agree to be my own match-maker? Could I honestly tell someone who I am and what I want. Do I even truly want what I say I want? Am I really making an honest effort to shift the circumstances of my love life or am I willing to stay in the same patterns because they are comfortable?

If you felt moved at all by this post and would like to shift your love life, I invite you to schedule a Love Life Makeover Session with me.  During this session, we can look at your love life mirror together. It is my intention that by the end of the call, you leave feeling uplifted and centered in practical action steps that you can take to makeover your love life.

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